The Story of the Christmas Ass

I’m sure you have all heard of the Elf on the Shelf, especially if you have kids, grandkids, neighbour kids …

Well, when spending time with my six sisters over Thanksgiving – I was going to buy one of those little bastards for my grandkids. But the Elf was $35 (Canadian price) and then I saw all the brand named items to go with it (games, puzzles, books, cupcake molds!) and I thought I am NOT buying into this propaganda – my household shall boycott that Elf!

My poor deprived grandchildren would have to be Elfless this Christmas!

As our sister journey continued spirited by wine and good company I came across a small Donkey wearing a Santa hat, the wheels began to turn and I thought, surely this little donkey could do the same thing the Elf does at an 1/8 of the cost – and the Christmas Ass was born!

This season as the sweet babies lie sleeping, the Ass will keep watch over them!

Watch out – he is on his way!  The story of the Christmas ASS below:

THE STORY OF THE CHRISTMAS ASSAss1In the wee hours of dawn, on a crisp winter morn
Santa awoke, perplexed – when a new donkey was born.
The donkey was special, he gleamed and ate grass
He brayed and smiled and he was the new Christmas ASS!

The ASS grew so big, as Asses tend to do,
From cocoa and chocolate & candy canes too.
He didn’t belong with the others at the pole,
But Santa had a job for him on Christmas patrol.

So Santa sent the ASS, to watch over all,
The ASS had big plans, he’d have a ball!
Spying on kids, as well as Mom and Dad,
Reporting to Santa, the good and the bad.

So he’ll sit on a shelf, or next to the toys,
To watch over all the girls and boys.
Listen and watch, are they naughty or nice,
Then rat out to Santa, for a good price!

Oh Santa, dear Santa – what have you done!!
Think of all the trouble that will be spun!!
So look out this year, you better be good,
Because the Christmas ASS is in your neighborhood!


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