The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F#ck ~ by Mark Manson
Let me first say that I’m not a fan of self help books as I find, like diet books – they all say pretty much the same thing and are filled with fluff, “visualize your goals”, “life is like a game of chess”, “without desires & dreams, your thoughts do not matter”, “be positive & positive things will happen” …. blah, blah, blah.
This book caught my eye about a year ago when I was on vacation – seriously, how many times have I said my life would be so much easier if I didn’t give a fuck! It was like Mark Manson was reading my mind. Still – it was a self help book so I had my doubts and the book stayed in the store. Then I picked up a tattered & torn copy laying on my sisters porch that looked as though it had be read, reread, and used! There must be something to this beyond the “F” word!
I perused Mark Manson’s book with Chapters like “Don’t Try” & “Happiness is a Problem” and I was sold! Plus when I got to chapter 3, “You Are Not Special” I thought – this is what my family has been telling me for years! 😊
But really, the title may have dragged me in but the the book well written and uncomplicated. Don’t let the title fool you though, it’s not about not giving a fuck about everything, it’s about being deliberate in what to give a fuck about. At its core the book is about learning from the negative, asking yourself hard questions, exploring your values, and even possibly changing your values. Most of all it spells out that YOU are responsible for your life, not your parents, not your 5th grade teacher who gave you an F or the asshole boss that fired you. Challenge yourself, never get comfortable, don’t be afraid of negative experiences.
“I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of differences in others.” Mark Manson
What sets this book apart from the dozens of other self help books I’ve read is that Mark Manson blends personal stories with humor and brutal honesty, not the fluff sold in so many self help books.
“Fuck positivity, Let’s be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.”
“Happiness is a constant work in progress. Happiness comes from solving problems, not avoiding them.”
“Not everyone can be extraordinary – there are winners and losers in society. If everyone were extraordinary, then by definition on one would be ordinary.”
So what made this book different – it focuses on values, on having an appreciation for life’s basic experiences. Maybe I won’t ever be a published author, maybe I’ll won’t become CEO, maybe I’m not extraordinary but I can enjoy the simple pleasures of friendship, or reading a good book. I can relook my values OR just the way I measure them (as I believe my values are solid). I can question myself, get out of my comfort zone and not be afraid to fail and never stop challenging myself. I will do something, no matter how small.
I can, in a nutshell, reevaluate and learn to let go, I will give fewer “fucks”, and focus on those things that are truly important and in my control.